Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
