The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
