I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I can't turn off my feet"
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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