just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
