You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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