youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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