the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
