You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Randomize
