It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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