I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
