What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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