Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
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