i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
