I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
