I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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