if only i could text you this smell
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
