I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
