At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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