I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
