so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
