Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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