I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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