THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
