Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Quick, to the slutcave!
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
