Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
