I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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