let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
