I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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