it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
