Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
