i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
This is my gift to your gina
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
