no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Houston, we have a squirter
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
The cops high fived after they tackled you
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
