We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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