Where is the hickey?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize