yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
