She's JV to your varsity
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Randomize
