He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
