Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
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