are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
