Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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