Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
