Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Randomize
