Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize