i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
