You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
You took a bar mat shot.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
