Need sex. Gaining weight.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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