I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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