we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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