is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
