I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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