kristin has been a bad kristin
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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