so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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