There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
