Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
