This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Randomize
