I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
