The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
My vagina is very pro this idea
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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