He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
