Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
