In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
