Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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