They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
i think my cat just said my name.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
