So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
farters have to be the big spoon...
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Randomize
