1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I'm drive I can fine osifer
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
